Count down

Jared will be home on Friday :)

** That's pretty much my gratitude list for the rest of the week LOL.

Had a nice easy day today- slept in, ran errands, did not do laundry [but I will, tonight], picked up some books at the library- Walker found a new book in the Children of the Lamp series, which he's allowing me to borrow AFTER he finishes reading it- and now we're going to the grocery store.

Sunday was interesting. Some days are more tender than others, and I don't really have the luxury of skipping my women's meeting, because I'm partially responsible for running it. It's good, because it keeps me busy. It's not so good when I'm feeling raw and sensitive, and I'm up in front of people and I feel like my guts are hanging out there for all the world to admire. Or not, as the case may be. I try not to leave in the middle of the lesson, because that brings more attention to me, since I cannot sneak out from the front of the room. But there are times when I have to focus really hard on my fingernails, or something equally un-emotional, to keep the sobs in my chest from spilling over. That being said, Sunday was not actually one of those days, and I actually learned something helpful to me. We took one of President Dieter F Uchtdorf's addresses from the Sept. 2008 General Relief Society Conference [our women's conference], and I'll just share the parts that I needed:

Happiness is my heritage. It's a gift from my Heavenly Father, and it is something that is rightfully mine- not a treat, a sometimes thing, but a right that I have at all times- to be happy. So, how do I get and keep this happiness? [Pres. Uchtdorf suggested 2 ways: be creative [make something] and be compassionate] And then this, which I'm quoting exactly:

President Gordon B. Hinckley believed in the healing power of service. After the death of his wife, he provided a great example to the Church in the way he immersed himself in work and in serving others. It is told that President Hinckley remarked to one woman who had recently lost her husband, “Work will cure your grief. Serve others.” [I put part of that in bold]. I cannot imagine the grief he felt at losing his wife of 60 years, and the loneliness and heartache that he must have felt. And yet...

See, I know that when I'm really, truly aching, that hiding in my bedroom [or at the bookstore] does not bring me happiness. I come out as sad as I went in. And I have felt joy most often when I am working and serving. When I take the time to play a game with my kids; when I'm busy with church work [not meetings, but actual work LOL]; when I take raw materials and create something new and good [like bread, or chocolate chip cookies, or happy memories for my children], these times are the ones that bring that peace and joy and happiness that God has promised me.

*sigh* That was a bit melancholy. I really am doing well- kids have been ANGELS today [which leads me to be suspicious of those pod-like things in the basement], and today was beautiful- cold and bright and crisp.

Whew

Just a quick list, since I'm up to my ears in jobs ;)

Gratitude List:
* unlimited texts :) Jared calls me on the phone, too, but we mostly text each other, even when he's not TDY.
* I slept in this morning, accidentally.
* When I finally did drag myself out to the kitchen, my kids had already eaten breakfast, and were doing their schoolwork. WOW.
* hot cocoa and french toast [comfort food, for sure]
* blogging
* music
* the library and the budding love affairs my children are developing w/books.
* Hyrum wrote his first love note [with help from his sister] to a little girl, and I get to mail it for him ;) It says, "Dear Xxxx, I love you. I know you have a crush on me. I wish you could play. Love, Hyrum
**Okay, the note really isn't a gratitude thing, but it kind of is, because I'm grateful he has such a tender heart, and that I got to see his first love note, and that he has such good taste- this little girl is extremely intelligent, 2 years older than he is, and definitely on her way to being possibly good enough for my son ;) Hopefully all his girlfriends will be this type LOL.
* chore charts
* our new President has been safely inaugurated. No attacks [at least, no physical ones], no bombs, no shooting. SO thankful for that.
* It was warmer today, so the dogs' water didn't freeze. And I didn't have to go chop ice.
* God

Little Miracles

Charlotte's Web has been a favorite book of mine for many, many [too many to count, really] years. And a few years ago there was a movie made of the book, which I took all [four, at the time] of my kids to see. I LOVED the movie- I was impressed with how well the script captured the feeling of the book, and I pounced on the DVD and bought it the first day it was available. And, I also loved the music in the movie- one song in particular- 'Ordinary Miracle' sung by Sarah McLachlan.

This song can still bring tears to my eyes :). Hearing it reminds me of how much I have to be grateful for. I struggle with this a lot, which is why I like to keep a list at the bottom of my posts. Writing down my blessings, even the small ones, makes them seem more real to me.

Gratitude List:
* movies that lift my spirits [Narnia movies are good for this; so is Charlotte's Web]
* my mom, who came up to tend my kids on Monday last, freeing me up to run some errands and enjoy some alone time.
* my husband, who wrote me a beautiful letter [sorry honey, I know you're a man, but handsome letter doesn't mean the same thing] that I received today.
* I have wonderful friends.
* 2 more weeks 'till Jared's home :)
* dry erase markers and a dry erase board for my kids to color on.
* healthy kids.
* healthy me.
* a strong, supportive, extended family.
* a Father in Heaven who understands my grief, and my happiness, and that they aren't always mutually exclusive.
* the night sky.
* I have money for gas to fill the car to drive me to visit my family and friends.
* books to read.
* soup and bread.

Snow Day

Jared is in MD through the end of January, for training. We both agree it's redundant, but then, a lot of military things are. It's why they are so great at training soldiers, and totally suck at saving money LOL. Anyway, he's enjoying [? or not] the warmer weather out there, and we're enjoying [completely and totally] the snowy winter wonderland that is our yard.

A few nights ago, I finally realized that getting to the gym just isn't happening during the day for me. I could take my kids w/me, but since the daycare has an age limit of 8, I'd still need to find something for my oldest 2 to do. And letting them loose, unsupervised, just scares me [besides being against the gym policy of having to supervise children up to age 12]. I cannot even tell you how many things I can see them getting into, or destroying LOL, all in the name of 'discovering.' Not to mention the occasional creepy person I see walking around the gym area. So, again, not happening right now.

I came up with a solution, however. I desperately need to exercise, to keep up on the frequent family hikes we take during the warmer months of the year. It finally occurred to me that I could go after the kids are in bed- just put the dogs in the house and do a few laps around the block- and get the exercise I want to. Ah-hah!! ** We're also visiting places like Red Butte Gardens, which is a gorgeous place to walk in the summer and winter both. Today we actually took a class about winter, and how plants and animals prepare for winter, and how we prepare for winter. Then we walked around the garden [hooray, more walking LOL] and looked for plants and animals that were prepared for winter. **

Back to walking around the neighborhood: my Wednesday night walk was gorgeous. It was snowing those fat, fluffy snowflakes, and everything was hushed. Oh, :) and I came back wet and happy. For now, this seems to be the best solution. It has the added bonus of getting me out of the house by myself, which I need more now that I'm homeschooling and seem to spend every waking minute with at least one child talking to me. Aaah, the perfect quiet of a solitary walk! Although last night I spent almost an hour talking to Jared while I was walking, so it wasn't really very quiet.

Gratitude List:
* My kids are cooperating again. Wow- twice in one week!
* Walker shoveled the driveway and cleared off most of the snow.
* I made bread, and it was yummy!
* My kids are old enough to share popcorn without fighting [mostly].
* I have 4-wheel-drive :)
* Gas is still under $2/gallon
* The hot water heater works
* hot chocolate in the mornings
* friends and family
* God
* my husband, whether he's home or away.
* 13 years married, today!
* no car payments and money in the bank.

Cherish

:) I have so many things I wish to post about, and so little time right now- back to school, fighting the 'playtime' to get in some 'schooltime' and dealing with computer viruses [thank you Jared for fixing those!], changing all my passwords, backing up the hard drive, and now, FINALLY, I can upload pics from my camera! Except I need to find that little USB cord that connects my camera to the computer. *sigh* I'm sure it's around here somewhere...

Ali Edwards hosts a yearly "one-word" challenge on her blog. I've participated the last two years, and was debating whether to do it agan this year, but decided I needed this- it forced me to sit down and evaluate exactly what I want to be doing this year, and where I want to go- on a personal level- with my life.

I chose the word CHERISH.

I want to cherish what I have, and not make lists of things [especially things I have to dust LOL] that will somehow make my life better. I have a good- well, great, actually- life already.

I want to cherish my husband, and my children. I chose to get married, and to have kids. I chose to stay home. I chose to homeschool. I need to remember WHY, and enjoy this time. How many people do YOU know that can honestly say they are doing exactly what they have chosen to do?!

I want to cherish my memories, and cherish the opportunities I have to make new ones. As much as I'd like to sometimes, I cannot spend all my time focused on the past. Life goes on [it DOES] and I want to be involved in it. I want to cherish the time that we have together. I want to continue making memories with Walker, Morgen, Hyrum, and Jared; because I don't know how much time we'll have together.

Now I need to sit down and evaluate how I'll put all these wishes into effect- make my list of resolutions ;)

Gratitude List:
* We had a lot of family time this past month, and it's been great.
* We're close to our families, so spending time with any/all of them is a treat.
* My parents taught me to be kind to my siblings, and they set a good example by treating their own siblings and parents with kindness.
* I know that my Redeemer, Jesus Christ, lives. I know because of His Atonement that I can see my son, Myles, again.
* God answers prayers. :) I'm especially grateful that he answers MY prayers.
* Our furnace works!
* My computer is working again.
* My children are [temporarily, I'm sure] not fighting.
* My husband is home for one more day :)