This week's adventure

For starters, Jared is sort of out of town until Friday. He's working in the Salt Lake valley, but because of the exercise they're doing [night stuff and they have to sleep during the day] they're all staying at a hotel to make sure that they sleep, instead of staying up during the day and [gasp!] spending time with their families. Gee, gotta love the military.
I spent a few hours yesterday going through my 2007 scrapbook. I swear I started at the beginning and was working chronologically, but somehow I missed January completely! And the rest of the months are missing events; I have our bike rides done, but no pictures scrapped of Walker's birthday. How on earth did I do that?!?! So I sat down with my computer and my scrapbook, and double-checked each folder of my pics against my blog and my scrapbook, trying to fill in the missing pieces. *sigh* And that was hard, too, looking at the LOs I finished before Myles died, and the ones I've tried to complete since his death. Some of them I don't remember making; more of the 'blank page' part of my life, I guess.
I got through April figured out, and pictures ordered for what I missed. Plus we're working on the kids' scrapbooks of Myles, which is harder than I expected it would be.

Catch-up

These past few weeks have been busy; the parade Saturday was hot, but fun, and yes I am glad I am finished with those oh-so-adorable hats. My fingers are glad as well :) Here's a brief recap of the week, and some pictures to illustrate just how much fun we all had LOL.
Monday, Jared and his dad took W and M [and one of our neighbors] up for a week-long back-packing trip in the high Uintahs. They spent most of their time in the Granddaddy Basin [in case you know where that is...].

Hyrum and I drove over to Heber, and visited Myles' grave. We also visited some other family graves which are in the same cemetery: my great-grandparents, my grandparents, and my Grandpa's little sister Laura May. Then we went to Granny's Drive-in and got cheeseburgers and the most awesome shakes ever :) Myles' headstone looks exactly how I wanted it to, which is good :)

Tuesday, I left Hyrum w/a babysitter and went to visit a friend in the hospital. It started raining while I was there, and I ended up driving home in a real gully-washer! It was raining so hard, [and there was nowhere for all that water to go] that I was afraid my car would wash right off the road! But I did make it home okay, eventually.

Wednesday we got together with Kristina, and walked all over SLC :) We made it up to Ensign Peak, and got a good view of the Salt Lake Valley- well worth the walk. I also got a call from Jared, because our neighbor had hurt his leg, and Jared had to pack the kid 6 miles out to the car! Jared slept at the house Wed. night and headed back up Thurs morning, to help his dad break camp. They fished all day Thursday and got home about 11pm that night.

Thursday I cleaned house [boring but necessary], did laundry, and spent the afternoon at my mom and dad's house. :) We drive right past IKEA when we visit my mom, and of course we had to stop and look around. Hyrum loves the meatballs they serve there; in fact, I'm pretty sure that those meatballs are his favorite part of the whole store- including the cool children's play area.

And Friday I spent at the Provo Mall with my old roommates- Kellie and Allison. That was fun, and weird, and I cannot believe it's been 15 years since we all lived together LOL!

We've been pretty relaxed about school this summer- I wanted to get them started with Math and English, and add the other subjects once summer's over. We stay so busy with all our family reunions, and visiting friends, and traveling with Jared [when permitted]. Sometimes it's good to have a slow week :)

Oh, and I'm working on more scarves.

Fish Heads

Oh, I mean fish HATS! Here are the beautiful [took two @)#% days to make 28] fish hats:

Here is my model, wearing the oh-so-fashionable fish hat:

And here are all 3 kids, before they got their fish hats, standing in front of our float:

It was a long, hot walk, but there were free popsicles and inflatable climbing toys at the end of the route, which made it all worthwhile ;)

tagged

I guess I'm not running fast enough... LOL

So, 10 years ago [1998]:
I was working at BYU while Jared finished up his undergrad. We had Walker that year, then did a 3-month internship in Schuyler, Nebraska. Jared decided he wanted to pursue a master's degree, and started shopping around for colleges.

5 things on my to-do list today:
bank, post office, sew adorable fish hats for children's parade on July 19th, cut out more adorable fish to sew into hats, exercise, daily scripture/meditation, run away to Barnes and Noble

Snacks I enjoy:
if it has chocolate, I enjoy it :)

If I were a millionaire...
Pay off our last debt [student loan], fund kids' college/tech schools, fund retirement, build dream house in Heber/Midway/Daniels area, and donate the rest

Places I have lived:
California, Utah, Nevada, Iowa, and Nebraska

Another mom

Just had to add this quickly: Jared's sister Angela and my brother's wife Amber both gave me a link to this blog: A Daily Scoop. She has been inspiring to read, and I usually end up with tears in my eyes, because she's been journaling about her 18-month old daughter who drowned in their hot tub just a little while ago.

She's actually the one who sparked that memory for me- I remember when I read Twilight, I didn't get the blank pages at first. I thought it was a little too dramatic LOL. Then I was thinking about guys I had either broken up with, or who had broken up with me, trying to remember what I had been like as a teenager. I remembered one guy [and I am so grateful now I didn't marry him BTW] who at the time seemed just what I was praying for. He broke up with me shortly before the semester ended in April [I was 19], and I had a few blank page months after that. Of course, having him write me half-way through the summer with a 'maybe we can try this again' sort of letter didn't help. Anyway, comparing Jared to what I remember about this other boy, well, I definitely got the better bargain :). I cannot imagine having to live with somebody who was so completely picky about certain things. He really wanted perfection in everyone and everything, which is not a bad thing. But I don't think he had the whole 'forgiveness is divine' thing figured out yet, either. Plus Jared's last name is much cooler... My point being that I could sympathize with Bella, after I rememberd how I had behaved with "this other guy." And then dealing with Myles' death, which was exponentially more painful than this breakup, well, I already wrote about that.

Whew- I went on longer than I meant to. Really, I just wanted to share that blog, and also how much her writing has comforted me, and strengthened me, because her faith is strong and she shares it so eloquently.

Twilight

So, this will be a bit depressing [sorry] and I hope y'all know that I am doing okay, even on the bad days.

I was reading another blog and it sparked this memory. Stephenie Meyer writes the Twilight book series, about a girl and a vampire who are in love. In the second book, after Edward leaves because he wants Bella to have a normal life, there are a few chapters with headings and nothing else. Like, at the top of the page, "October" is written and underlined, but the entire page is blank, because that's how it feels when you lose someone that important to you- blank. After a while, she starts writing again: about how Bella pretends to be normal, going out with friends to see a movie she has no interest in because it would be 'normal.' Talking to people at lunch because that would be 'normal.' And I have to admit there are days- weeks actually- that I only remember because I have kept a journal. I still have blank days. Right now, this week, is a good time for that because everybody else is camping, and my melancholy won't impact them. But at times this pain is sharp enough that I need to be alone, to process my grief without bursting into tears in public or screaming because another well-meaning person has shared their view on death [usually somebody I'm not acquainted with, and usually not my own view of a loving God who cries with me because He knows what it is like to lose a Son as well]. And I deal better when I can be alone, and cry and pray and remember Myles without having to explain why I'm doing what I'm doing. Then I can go to the library, or wherever, and be around people without breaking down again.

I am okay. Every day, God lends me the strength to do what I need to in order to care for my three other children, and my husband. But it is in these quiet, lonely moments that I am able to grieve, and recharge myself to shoulder the load I carry.

Thank you for praying for me, and my family. I can feel it when I am prayed for, and it helps a lot. I love you guys :)

BOOM! oops

We had a huge amount of family time this week: Jared's parents drove over last Saturday, and have spent the past week with us. Monday they took my kids up to Lava Hot Springs, and stayed 'till late Tuesday night, which gave Jared and I a chance to have a real date on Monday :). Among other things, we went shooting and out to eat.
Wednesday, we got everybody packed, and the dogs and camping stuff shoved into the back of the Durango, and we [including my in-laws and their motorhome] headed up to Heber, where my family owns some pasture next to the Provo River. Jon and Melinda came with us, and we had a great time! Well, except for me not breathing or seeing because my allergies were horrible. Even with extra-mega-double doses of Zyrtec, I was miserable. Jon and Melinda drove me back home, and I spent Thursday sleeping and cleaning my eyes out :(. Friday I drove back up because my mom's family was having their reunion at that field. I made it through the 3 or so hours, and even took some photos. We got a lot of hugs and loving advice. The kids, of course, were happily accumulating as much dirt as possible, wading in the irrigation ditch and swinging from the rope Jared hung about 20 feet high in one of the trees; oh, and going too fast and getting caught in another tree's branches and scraping their legs bloody. That is why I carry a small first-aid kit with me everywhere :)
Saturday was another reunion- this time, my mother-in-law's family. Again, outside, but definitely fun to see everybody, and catch up with some of Jared's cousins who are in the Air Force. We generally get 1 or 2 of the 5 currently serving, depending on their postings. Jared hasn't made it to this reunion since we moved here in 2005 LOL. Anyway, we usually have breakfast, then some activities and visiting, then lunch, and we finish with some family history stories. I got a bunch of great photos of the kids playing different games, and one of Jared's aunts had compiled a CD of all the reunion photos she had from the past 30+ years.
Saturday evening we set up our fireworks, and had our own little fireworks show in the driveway. I took photos of that, too.
Today I plugged in my camera, and somehow lost all those photos- well over 150 pics just vanished. AAARGH!
But, in honor of the 4th of July and my gratitude for this awesome land that [with all its flaws] offers me more opportunity and freedom than any other place on earth, I uploaded a fireworks picture:

Shhh...

the kids are gone for a few days with their grandparents, and I am luxuriating in the silence here :). I went to the gym early, exercised, and ran some errands ALL BY MYSELF. I glittered some fish [for a parade our kids will be in soon], and folded laundry, and did some cleaning, and tonight Jared and I will eat together ALL BY OURSELVES. When the kids get home, I'll welcome them with open arms, but right now I am enjoying every solitary second ;)

Gardening

We met Nate and Saxon down at Thanksgiving Point yesterday, and walked through the gardens there. I got pics of my kids in the mazes, and all the kids in the wading pool around the Noah's Ark sculpture. The gardens are beautiful, and I'm really glad there was so much shade :) One bad sunburn per summer is about all I can handle...

Sunburns and swimming lessons

So can anybody tell me why, when I put sunscreen on, I get sunburned? And not just a little bit, but bright pink don't-touch-my-legs-or-I'll-scream burned. Hmmph. Good thing Jared tans well, and that he passed that skin down to our kids. Got pics of M and H at swim lessons this week. Since H's hair is wet, you can't see that he's bleached blond from all the sun he's had this week :) And Morgen's at the diving pool- it really is that blue :)