One of my goals since Myles died has been to journal, to keep a record of my life and my thoughts on paper. I love people, and being around crowds, but I am an intensely private person, which means a lot of my thoughts I never share. [And why they won't be showing up here on this blog ;)] I've been carrying around a little notepad so I can jot things down as they happen, but I wanted to copy those notes into my journal, and put down the thoughts and feelings I didn't have time to elaborate on when I wrote a quick note to remind myself of whatever was happening at the time.
Part of the reason I've been so motivated to do this is my own faulty memory. I have always had trouble w/short-term memory [part of having ADD]. Another reason is something one of my friends mentioned, after Myles' death, that the summer after her brother died is completely blank to her. She remembers NOTHING about it. And I didn't want that to happen to me, so I started jotting things down in that little notebook. Today, I spent about 3 hours copying from my notebook into my journal, and stopped because my hand was cramping :) My SIL and her husband are here, and they're watching the Olympics, so all my kids are sitting around the tv and cheering on whatever athlete catches their eye.
Jared had to make a quick trip to Denver today- flew in this morning, will fly out tonight [assuming he has a seat]. Next week, his team is working security for the DNC out there, and this meeting is to work out a schedule of shifts and responsibilities for all the units involved.
And I need to visit the allergist today. oh goody.
2 comments:
I think your journal is a wonderful idea. I sure wish I would have kept one all these years...and BTW I love you're new blog banner.
Such a great idea. I didn't keep a journal after our loss and looking back now I think "Why do I mourn more deeply now, seven years later, than I did then?"
And the thing is, I am sure I don't, and when I asked my Dh he said "No, you were pretty out of it there for a while". But like you said, I have no memory of that time. I write a letter to my daughter every year on her birthday and Christmas, and then just whenever I feel I need to and I have those, but I don't remember anything from that first year.
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