Count down

Jared will be home on Friday :)

** That's pretty much my gratitude list for the rest of the week LOL.

Had a nice easy day today- slept in, ran errands, did not do laundry [but I will, tonight], picked up some books at the library- Walker found a new book in the Children of the Lamp series, which he's allowing me to borrow AFTER he finishes reading it- and now we're going to the grocery store.

Sunday was interesting. Some days are more tender than others, and I don't really have the luxury of skipping my women's meeting, because I'm partially responsible for running it. It's good, because it keeps me busy. It's not so good when I'm feeling raw and sensitive, and I'm up in front of people and I feel like my guts are hanging out there for all the world to admire. Or not, as the case may be. I try not to leave in the middle of the lesson, because that brings more attention to me, since I cannot sneak out from the front of the room. But there are times when I have to focus really hard on my fingernails, or something equally un-emotional, to keep the sobs in my chest from spilling over. That being said, Sunday was not actually one of those days, and I actually learned something helpful to me. We took one of President Dieter F Uchtdorf's addresses from the Sept. 2008 General Relief Society Conference [our women's conference], and I'll just share the parts that I needed:

Happiness is my heritage. It's a gift from my Heavenly Father, and it is something that is rightfully mine- not a treat, a sometimes thing, but a right that I have at all times- to be happy. So, how do I get and keep this happiness? [Pres. Uchtdorf suggested 2 ways: be creative [make something] and be compassionate] And then this, which I'm quoting exactly:

President Gordon B. Hinckley believed in the healing power of service. After the death of his wife, he provided a great example to the Church in the way he immersed himself in work and in serving others. It is told that President Hinckley remarked to one woman who had recently lost her husband, “Work will cure your grief. Serve others.” [I put part of that in bold]. I cannot imagine the grief he felt at losing his wife of 60 years, and the loneliness and heartache that he must have felt. And yet...

See, I know that when I'm really, truly aching, that hiding in my bedroom [or at the bookstore] does not bring me happiness. I come out as sad as I went in. And I have felt joy most often when I am working and serving. When I take the time to play a game with my kids; when I'm busy with church work [not meetings, but actual work LOL]; when I take raw materials and create something new and good [like bread, or chocolate chip cookies, or happy memories for my children], these times are the ones that bring that peace and joy and happiness that God has promised me.

*sigh* That was a bit melancholy. I really am doing well- kids have been ANGELS today [which leads me to be suspicious of those pod-like things in the basement], and today was beautiful- cold and bright and crisp.